Overheard at Kenyon: “There is ice everywhere, but most of all in my heart”

Did you know bananas split in three?

Did you know bananas split in three?

Uncoordinated girl: *Falls on butt and then trying to get up falls again*

  • Omniscient Mather dudes (from window): “WE SAW YOU”

Hip n’ topical professor: “I don’t know anything about Isaac Newton.  Just Bob Marley.”

Dubious art student: “Literally every year someone gets injured in the sculpture class. It’s like, super hazardous.”

Fruit enthusiast: “Did you know that if you squeeze a chunk of banana it breaks into thirds?”

  • Fruit critic: “Yeah. I’ve known that since I was five.”
  • Fruit enthusiast, excitedly squeezing banana chunks: “It’s sooo cool!”
  • Fruit critic: “It’s just a banana, calm the fuck down.”
  • Fruit enthusiast: *refuses to calm the fuck down*.

Disillusioned first-year: “Man, going out is just not worth it anymore. It’s too goddamn cold.”

Girl #1: “I love cowboys!”

  • Girl #2: “Are they your type?”
  • Girl #1: “Sure!” pause “As long as he showers…”

Squat enthusiast at the KAC: “I feel like my ass is exploding.”

Animal enthusiast: “All koalas have chlamydia.”

  • Friend #1: “Okay, but who would get freaky with a koala?”
  • Friend #2: “How do you think koalas got chlamydia?”

Blissfully ignorant first year: “What are comps, anyway?”

  • Friend keeping it real: “Hell, probably.”

 Jaded sophomore: “There is ice everywhere, but most of all in my heart.”

 

3 responses

  1. Pingback: Overheard at Kenyon: Garfield Edition | The Thrill

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