10 o’clock list: Five Things That Aren’t Just You, So It’s All Okay

PLEASE NO. JUST FIVE MORE MINUTES OF PROCRASTINATION.

Kenyon is small and there are always people around, but it is natural to feel like a plastic bag drifting on the wind, ready to start again. When you feel this feeling, perhaps it would help you to know that you are not the only one. There are certainly those things that seem like little “haha, fuck yous” that the Kenyon universe reserves for you and you alone. You slip in a mud puddle on Middle Path. You accidentally address your professor as “Dad” in passing, and then quietly curse the gods as you walk away from the interaction. We’re here to tell you that it’s not just you, in case that helps. You are not alone when:

1. You wake up and realize all the work you have been putting off has to get done today. That thing where you “Go to bed early” so that you can “Wake up early and do work”. Many students at Kenyon awoke to their alarms this morning, with a collective mental chorus of “…fuuuck.”

2. You smell bad in public. This is just a natural thing. As you look around shamefully in the library because your winter boots reek like That Smelly Kid Sherman in Your Fifth Grade Class, just put your toes further under your study carrel and know that this is a common problem.

3. You pull a Peirce cup off the rack. After several unsuccessful yanks, you can feel the eyes of your peers and AVI employees seep into you, judging you for your lack of upper-body strength, as well as the fact that you’ve gotten your probably unwashed hands all over this cup, so it would be bad form to reach for another.

4. You almost slip. Whether it’s a pesky little puddle of grape jelly in the servery or the Great Ice Slick leading up from New Apts, that moment of sheer terror when you “almost slip” can be worse than the impact of actually falling on your butt. Yet, since it is pretty much impossible NOT to slip and slide these days, we can all just swap war stories once we finally make it to class.

5. You mess something up at the Registrar’s Office. You walk outside the Registrar’s Office five minutes after they closed, and only then notice that today was the last day of add/drop. Your add/drop form remains unsigned, shoved in a folder pocket, forgotten. The Registrar’s emails went ignored. At least you haven’t used your Mulligan yet…

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