We like to stay pretty competitive here at The Thrill, and a Blog Off is one way we can definitively prove that one of us is objectively a better blogger (dare we say, a better person). So we leave it to you, the reader, to decide in a blind taste test who is really better as we square off on various topics.
This week, Matt Delbridge ’16 and Joe Barden ’15 tackle a much contended topic: the personal sounding emails from the CDO. A little creepy? Maybe. Pleasant, life affirming and effective? Most definitely. Which side will prevail? Only you can decide.
“Dear [my name].” Boy, if those aren’t two words I love to see. I’m gonna come right out and say that I really dig the personal nature of CDO emails. You know why? Because I live in a constant state of being unaware of my full name. I know that this sounds silly, but I’m being completely serious. I’m so devoted to my nickname that I can go days on end without considering the fact that I legally bear the much more formal, biblically-sourced moniker of the full seven letters. Also to clarify, it’s not just “Dear ____” I’m receiving. There’s also “Hi ____,” “How are you, ____?” and the oddball of the bunch “_____,”. What these all have in common, though, is that sweet, gentle reminder of who I truly am.
I also think the nature of CDO emails makes me a little more likely to believe that the opportunities presented are within my reach. Even though the sending of these emails is almost certainly conducted by the frightening and mysterious CDO robot, the personal touches do make me feel a little more confident in my ability to seize the opportunities presented. The idea of “my name” the paralegal and/or FBI agent fits into my scheme of the world significantly better than [STUDENT] the paralegal and/or FBI agent.
“Hi [INSERT STUDENT HERE],
Would you be interested in taking an internship with…”
We’ve all gotten these emails. At first, you might think the CDO is suddenly taking a personal interest in you, but soon the realization hits you that those emails are just another allstu wearing a fancy dress. It says it wants to go out to dinner with you, and how interesting you are and that its never felt this way about another person, but then two weeks go by and it never returns your text messages and you’re pretty sure it blocked you on Facebook and no matter what you do you can’t help but feel you still have a chance with it so you keep trying to make it love you back but it never does.
That’s how that girl, I mean those CDO emails make me feel. They also are constantly reminding you of your failure to land an internship, when it seems like everyone else around you has already landed one that promises to fly them to Paris once a week as well as a job waiting for them with full benefits. I don’t need to be reminded of my own futility, CDO, I do that well enough on my own. Keep the real world as far away from me as possible, because I’m going to binge-watch season five of Friends on Netflix and I don’t want to be distracted. I swear I’ll get to those internship applications later.