PSA: Don’t Lie to the Cove Guy

We’ve all told our friends, bosses and parents one specific little white lies: That we’ll “be there in a minute,” when in reality we are a good five to ten minutes away. It’s understandable.We hate to disappoint our employers and loved ones. But, as I found out recently, whether or not you tell the truth can be the difference between a good or bad night for your friendly neighborhood Cove delivery guy.

A few weeks back I was hanging out with some friends when they discovered I had never had a mac n’ cheese wedge. I understand that it is a cardinal sin to be a sophomore at Kenyon without having tasted fried cheese and macaroni dipped into delightfully sour ranch dressing, but I have always done my food shopping at the market. After all, a market dog is only $0.75

After this discovery, the next logical step was for them to secure me an order of mac n’ cheese wedges. A call was placed as we left Bolton Theater and the Cove was told we would be at Mather soon. However, we were held up on south campus and by the time we reached the Gates of Hell our Cove was already waiting outside of Mather. My friend relayed our location to the delivery guy, who, instead of being upset that we were so far from Mather, told us he would meet us in front of Farr Hall.

In a matter of minutes we were outside Farr and the Cove delivery car was pulling up to greet us. Upon handing over the food, the delivery guy thanked us for being honest about how far we were from Mather. He explained that most students will say they are moments from their destination, when really they are halfway across campus. This, he figured, was probably the result of students not wanting to seem irresponsible. As the minutes pass, though, he knows they were not where they claimed to be.

Remember: The delivery guy is in a car. He can meet you anywhere on campus. If you give him a truthful location, he can meet you and give you your food immediately. This is not only amazingly convenient for you; it frees up time for the delivery car to make other runs. It’s understandably annoying to have to wait around while students rush to a false location. Instead, tell the folks at the Cove exactly where you are.

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