Mercury is Finally Out of Retrograde

Not today, Mercury!

Not today, Mercury!

Today may seem like any other Wednesday, but for those of us who follow the astrological world, this is a day of celebration. As of 9:57 AM today, Mercury has officially returned to its normal direction, and come out of retrograde. Rejoice!

Mercury Retrograde may seem like an excuse people ironically give for the sad tragedies of their lives, but it is so much more than that. This Mercury Retrograde was an even more important one; it started in Aquarius and ended in Aquarius, and also started in the sun. The sun starts and ends in Aquarius in the same period as Mercury. That only happens every seven years. The last time this happened was 2008 when the market went into a recession, and before that in 2001, when 9/11 occurred. So, as you can see, this Retrograde usually brings very serious events to the world.

However, Mercury Retrograde usually affects smaller, less serious aspects of our lives. Remember that time you texted that special someone a marriage proposal although you only hooked up once and they never replied? It totally was Mercury Retrograde and they secretly love you. Looking back, you remember that one time you accidentally poured laxatives into your ex-best-friend’s drink at Peirce and they sang “Let it Go”? It totally was Mercury Retrograde and all will be forgiven! And have you felt like your head has been underwater the past month? Well, you may have thought it was mono, but more likely it was Mercury Retrograde! Now you will never have to go to the Health Center again.

Finally, you can breath a sigh of relief because this episode of “Punk’d: Horoscope Edition” is over. It’s likely that you’ve already felt your life return to the perfectly calm normalcy you had before this inauspicious period. Until the next retrograde, fellow astrologers!

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2 responses

  1. Pingback: Overheard at Kenyon: Vibrators, Lenny Kravitz and Human Sacrifice | The Thrill

  2. Pingback: PSA: Mercury is in Retrograde | The Thrill

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