Here at Kenyon, we’re big proponents of creating organic and meaningful relationships between professors and students. With this in mind, we’ve heard they’re totally starting a new plan to incorporate professors into our housing system (side note: they’ll be getting the best lottery numbers). Rumor has it D-Cat is slated to live in a Mather double next year, and his future roomie better look out; one of his former roommates is on The Thrill staff, and provided anonymous comments about President Decatur’s living arrangements.
- He has multiple dogs, and the CAs totally know. Dude, I get it, being away from home can be hard. You need something as a keep sake, but for the love of god these small beasts bark at all hours and the CA keeps throwing me side-eye because he knows what’s going on in here.
- He won’t stop offering to buy people alcohol. Dad, you’re embarrassing us. Please stop.
- His wife always stays over. Listen, I get it. Your relationship is important and that’s cute and all, but could you at least ditch the kids? This room isn’t big enough for all five of us.
- He always does work in the room. I just want to come home and watch TV without him lurking around- is that too much to ask? Like I get that you run the college and all, but really, I need my space.
- He makes ramen in the microwave all the time. The room always smells, and he never cleans his dishes. This is a communal space, I’m not your mom.