Where Was It Said: Wiggleground or in Bed?


Sometimes you’ll be looking for a little pick-me up and find yourself in the wonderful establishment known as Wiggin Street Coffee. You’ll sit down and sip your beverage. Maybe you’ll catch up with a cohort or do the reading that was due last week. More often than not, people will partake in conversation, and when you think about it hard enough their words sound a lot like phrases exchanged in the bedroom.

Fair warning: When I was 13, I had an awful and immature sense of humor just like the rest of my peers. Somehow they all grew out of the hilarity of sex jokes, and I just kept making them–so, sorry in advance.

  • “Do you want your muffin warmed up?”
  • “This booth gives us a lot more space.”
  • “*turns around* Hi sorry can you just plug this in for me?”
  • “Do you wanna bite of my cookie?”
  • “Do we want a single or a double?”
  • “Did you leave a tip?”
  • “Oh, that’s too frothy for my taste.”
  • “Just slather it around on both sides.”
  • “Can you move? I need to get out.”
  • “Mix it around with a stick.”
  • “Ugh, people keep walking by and looking into the window.”
  • “Oh my god, my professor is here.”

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