Overheard at Kenyon: Vibrators, Lenny Kravitz and Human Sacrifice

"Sheila was never the same after she overheard her two coworkers verbally abusing the water cooler." - Kafka

“Sheila was never the same after she overheard her two coworkers verbally abusing the water cooler.” – Kafka

John Green impersonator admiring the new Caples mural: Anything could be a metaphor. You’re a metaphor. The art in this elevator is a metaphor.

Senior studying for anything but history comps: But like, what’s Old Mexico?

Secret member of the Pawnee Goddesses: I like my men like I like my vibrators: Silent and powerful.

Sophomore stuck in either the 90s or The Hunger Games: I want to style my aesthetic on Lenny Kravitz.

Stubbornly bitter First Year: Fandango makes me want to shit myself.

Reactionary girl still reeling from retrogradeMercury! Hide your genitals!

Sophomore dude well-versed in avoiding hyperbole: Jon Stewart is leaving the daily show?!? I’m going to go sacrifice a virgin. Let’s hope it works.

Genuinely concerned friend of nature: What happened to Alvin and the Chipmunks?

  • Jaded adult: They died in a car crash.

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