“Fake Adulthood,” “White-Washed Suburbia,” and “Mommy Needs Her Happy Juice, Now Stop Hitting Your Brother With The Nerf Gun Your Father Bought You,” are just a few of the weird names you can give an NCA. We asked you for all the pet names you have for your small cube of strange dystopian-style housing, check ’em out after the jump!

• Cheese House– Is that the feet, or the Brie you had with your 1976 Bordeux? Did you know in America we name wines after the grape, but in France they name them after their origin*? How classé ;)
• Cuddle Cottage– I, for one, am excited and concerned simultaneously!
• Boihaus– There is so much going on here.
• House of Karl– Who is Karl? Is he on OKCupid? Swipe Right.
• Jake Dunn’s house– I dated a boy with this last name in sixth grade and on Halloween we shared our first hug <3 do you know him?
• Big Clit House– A source of pleasure that’s also unnoticed by men? Where do I sign?
• Mount Vermin– Is that the same dead mouse that was here two weeks ago? I’m going to go back to Cheese House.
• Social Justice House– The hub of Kenyon hash-tagging and liberal movements (unaffiliated with #respectfuldifference).
• The Pouf– You literally live in a small box.
• Rice Carlton– Room service with all you can eat buffet! The Turkey is Rice! The Meatloaf is Rice! Dick Cheney Shot A Man And He Is Rice!!
• Welcome To Hell/Hell– Check out time, never.
• One Direction/One Erection– Same thing, really. Also, what are your opinions vis-a-vis Zayn?
• Chateau d’Gay– oui oui c’est vrai

*I’d like to credit my dad for making sure I had this information when I needed it most