Hanna Hall, aka “yeah you probably can’t live here”

Okay shhhhhh, okay shhhhhhh- I know getting a shitty lottery number is the worst. There, there please do not cry. Seriously, your snot is on my denim jacket (it’s spring I’m not wearing water repellent fabric anymore). Housing lottery woes can be stressful, and with its arrival fast approaching, we’ve got some alternative solutions to that Mather triple you’ve been simultaneously coming to terms with and dreading. Here are a few places you can try to live in next year:

1. Third Floor Ascension. The study space at the top of Ascension has it all. It’s less than a minute walk to Peirce, which means you can actually get breakfast before your 9:40. Its look is ~classic Kenyon, mainly because of those stained glass windows. And, let’s face it, those couches are way comfier than your bed.

2. The Gazebo in the Middle of the NCAs. Prime location if you’re interested in partying north. Only downside is the lack of, you know, walls.

3. Tower of Wiggin. You know, that attic above Wiggin Street Coffee? It’s actually a little studio apartment. You always wake up with the smell of freshly brewed coffee.  It’s what we call in the real estate ‘biz–“cozy.” Best part is no one knows about it; it’s Gambier’s best kept secret. Totally an underground *movement* that you need to hop on NOW.

nope, probably can’t live here either

4. Post Office. The Post Office lobby is open 24 hours I only have three words for you: no. quiet. hours. Party all night long and into the morning! Those packages behind the counter that haven’t been picked up all year are probably pretty comfortable. Start making your Facebook event, because your palace is about to be the party capital of the year.

5. Just, like, a bench on Middle Path. This is a choice for the nomads among us. You can switch which bench you call home each night. Coming back from an Old Kenyon party? Set up camp right outside Hanna. Leaving the New Apts and it’s too cold to walk South? Snuggle up on one of the benches in front of the Market. The opportunities are endless.