Kenyon Fanfiction Reviews: Everyone Wants to Kill Us Edition

I guess I'll have to write the Pokemon/Kenyon fic someday.

I guess I’ll have to write the Pokemon/Kenyon fic someday.

Since our last foray into the Internet’s terrifying archives, the world has increased the number of beloved characters stepping into Gambier and shedding their clothes. So here we go again, with some reviews of Kenyon fanfiction.

Sting like a Bee

  • Fandom: CSI
  • Summary: “This time Sara has an insect problem. Companion piece to Float like a Butterfly, so it’s set in the same universe as Bugsville, OH and Swing Time. GSR”
  • Review: Well, I know absolutely nothing about CSI, but as this is a sequel to a previously reviewed fic, I thought I should give it a go. The author seems to have a firm grasp of what the BFEC looks like, though I’ve never seen a fox and her “pups” while traversing the forest. I’m not really sure I get anything more out of the dynamic of the two characters besides vague romantic interest, but I’m sure that if I knew anything about CSI I’d like it. The writing is sharp, and the author has a strangely fascinating knowledge of yellow jackets. Overall, it’s a cute fic about someone who hates bugs, which is something I can relate to.
  • Best Line: “So… a complete stranger accosts me and talks about buzzards’ testicles and I’m supposed to be honored.”
  • Read it here

Stay With Me

  • Fandom: Supernatural
  • Summary: “A deadly vision lands the Winchester men a little too close to home. Sam’s visions lead him to a mysterious woman, who just may have a stronger effect on him than he had ever expected. Love, Passion, danger, what lurks ahead for the boys has never been t [sic]”
  • Review: Kenyon doesn’t come in until Chapter 5, so I skipped everything before it. At least I have a passing understanding of Supernatural, so hopefully this one will be a little clearer. While they seem to have a somewhat clear understanding of Kenyon’s ghost-filled history, they assume that there is a diner in Gambier. Which… There is not. We don’t even have a Denny’s. Perhaps they’re talking about Southside Diner in Mount Vernon, but then the location is completely off as they describe it as being across the street from the college. OH WAIT, after reading a bit more I realized that EVERYONE AT KENYON IS DYING. The students, I mean. Which is troubling. So guys, please be careful. Overall, I’m not sure whoever wrote this has ever been to Kenyon, and it’s kind of creepy that they’re planning my death in fiction.
  • Best Line: “Ever since our freshman year, we try to stick together because we are the out-of-staters. I am from Texas and she is from Kansas, Pleasant Grove. She is my bestest friend, and she is a doll.”
  • Read it here

Fight for Survival

  • Fandom: Dawn of the Dead
  • Summary: “Ok, me and my sweetheart are helping the long distance pains by writing our own story, which just so happens to be about love, longing, and zombies. We liked the idea, and I just thought I might post it. We edit each other, and it’s fun. Enjoy.” (That’s actually such a cute, healthy way of dealing with a long distance relationship!!)
  • Review: The author has Kenyon down. Except–probably because this was written in 2008), they shout out Middle Ground, which as well all know has gone to its maker. However, this seems to be another story where Kenyon students are mysteriously dying. I feel like this is a theme, and it’s a creepy one. Except this time it’s zombies. Anyways, seems like a cute story, but it was never finished. I hope it’s not because the couple writing it broke-up.
  • Best Line: He looked at his email, and there was a new all-student email, titled “BITE OUT OF CRIME!!!”
  • Read it here

Worlds of documents [sic.]

  • Fandom: Craft
  • Summary: “Welcome to the documentation of The Restaurant of Revenge, the witches underground cafe, under Central park that serves only a cold dish. Try not to drown as a temp worker is asked to encounter a UFO deep beneath the sea. Read the lusty diary about the La [sic.]”
  • Review: So this is over 40,000 words, so I just skimmed the Kenyon-related parts. Pros! The Kokosing is magic! Paul Newman could swim a lot! Cons! The summer camps have been going on since forever! You can only live in a Taft! There are weird descriptions of the Amish! And apparently the main character is going to cast a spell on us which involves her vagina and rectum. It happens. (And with Beck as a soundtrack!)
  • Best Line: “Gambier’s best college was Kenyon.”
  • Read it here

4 responses

  1. Pingback: Original Thrill Produced Fan Fiction: The Impossible Love | The Thrill

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