How to Pretend to be a Prospie

Prospie HQ (via Wikipedia)

Prospie HQ (via Wikipedia)

Prospies.  We all can recognize them as a prospie when we encounter one on Middle Path.  But, have you ever wanted to blend in with the masses of prospies and observe Kenyon through their eyes?  Fortunately, I work at Admissions, so I can give you some tips on being the perfect prospie.

  1. Wait in the Fusion Line – Prospies always wait in the fusion line, no matter how long it is or what is being served.  Students, at least for the most part, will only bother waiting in line if it is something amazing or just omelets.
  2. Touch the middle post of the Gates of Hell – We know better than to do it, but do those poor, innocent prospies know what has been done to that middle post?
  3. Step on the seal – I see prospies do this and I usually let out an audible gasp.  So, do this in your attempt to be a prospie, but don’t blame me if you don’t graduate.
  4. Talk about how you’re going to go to the KAC ALL the time – They all say this.  But they won’t actually go.
  5. Be optimistic about life – “I’m going to be best friends with everyone I meet today!  I can’t wait to eat three balanced meals a day!  I’m going to go out every weekend and have a great time!”
  6. Try to involve yourself in the class discussion about a book you’ve never read – You really, really want to impress that Poli Sci Professor but you haven’t exactly read “On the Jewish Question.”  However, this should not stop you.

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