Paul’s always ready for any emergency, no matter how big or how small

Word has it that we might have a new addition to Campus Safety: Paul Blart. Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 opened this weekend to rave reviews, and I think we can bet that there’s going to be a Paul Blart 3 coming soon. Well listen up, Hollywood, because I have an idea for you: Paul Blart at Kenyon, joining the ranks of Kenyon’s Finest. Can’t you picture Paul Blart hanging around Kenyon, doing Safety things? It’s ok if you can’t, because I did it for you.

He heard that you got locked out of your room. Don’t worry, he’s on his way.

The Old K party got a little out of control. He’s just here to keep everyone safe, guys.

Paul’s on his way to check out that funny smell that you complained about in your Caples suite