Seinfeld is probably the greatest television show of the past, present, and future. Don’t even try to deny it. It is funny and relatable. In fact, I am a strict adherent to the theory that you can relate any situation or circumstance back to Seinfeld. Kind of like Kevin Bacon. This means that Seinfeld should be connected to goings on at Kenyon. Even Sendoff.
- “You very bad man, Jerry. Very bad man.” (Babu Bhatt) – Make some regrettable life decisions and you’ll be saying this to yourself. I guess only if your name is Jerry? The point still stands though that you may be saying some version of this at some point during Sendoff.
- “You’re becoming one of the glitterati.” (Kramer) – Do people wear lots of glitter to Sendoff? They should. Glitter makes everything better. Don’t listen to Kramer’s judgement; what does he know? This is the man who dressed up as Santa for Christmas and started spouting Communist propaganda to children. Actually, now that you mention it, maybe I’ll do that for Send Off instead.
- “Here’s to feeling good all the time.” (Kramer) – Party all day long and you’ll be agreeing with the wonderful Cosmo Kramer. Or, maybe not… You don’t want to end up like him, unemployed and stealing food from your neighbor. But hey, if that means getting out of finals, I’ll take it.
- “I’ll be back. We’ll make out.” (David Puddy) – Hopefully, your night ends as well as Elaine’s and Puddy’s did. Let’s hope though that it ends better than their relationship did and you don’t abandon your partner as they’re about to go to jail or break up because they say “High five!” too much. Last one’s a fair point.
- “Kramer, I can’t do that. It’s illegal.” (Jerry Seinfeld) – Take after everyone’s favorite straight man and be responsible. Someone in your friend group has to be the buzzkill, so it may as well be you. Stay safe, folks!