10 o’clock list: Ways to Tell People to Shut Up in the Library

It’s only one week until finals, which means Club Olin is the most happening place in Gambier. As we all start preparing for the inevitable emotional breakdown awaiting us all, it would be preferable to keep the library a quiet place so you can hear yourself think about how much easier it would be just to drop out. Unfortunately, some people view the library as more of a social space and use it to loudly interrupt your concentration as often as possible. Below are a few ways to tell those people they need to shut up so you can get back to your 10,000 word essay on how Nietzsche can be used to explain why you never saw all of Wilson’s face on Home Improvement.

1. A strong “Shh” The classic way to tell those annoying people to shut their trap, the shush is simple but usually effective. Unfortunately, its effects are often short-lived, and the culprits are soon back to their old ways of laughing at Buzzfeed quiz results.

2. Coughing This is for when you’re not sure the talkers know you’re actually there, and you just want to let them know there’s another human being nearby. Coughing is usually ineffective at stopping them unless you starting spitting up phlegm as well.

3. Smoke Signals It’s hard to ignore some black or brightly-colored smoke in a contained space like the library. Just be sure to disable the smoke alarms first.

4. Flag Semaphore The system of communicating using hand-held flags is hard to ignore, and you’ll definitely get your point across. Below is the way to say shut up (via: geocachingtoolbox.com):

s h u t Space u p

5. Carrier Pigeons Pigeons have been used for centuries to carry messages from one place to another, and I see no reason why it couldn’t be used to let it be known someone is bugging you with their mouth sounds. These aviary mailmen are also useful for quickly sending word of a coming invasion from Mongolian hoards.

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