Class of 2019: Facebook Highlights

This post, a feature that the “illustrious” Alumni Bulletin once referred to as a “sort-of tradition,” was co-authored by Yasmin Nesbat ’18 and Shayne Wagner ’18horse

It is the most wonderful time of year. The flowers are blooming and people are starting to wear shorts again. But the absolute best part of this season is welcoming the incoming class in our own special way. The tradition of upperclassmen joining the incoming first-year class group on Facebook and trolling the shit out of it is still alive and well. We took our favorite comments from the newest class of 2019 and added our own answers. Remember 2019, we love you and we’ll see you on the hill soon.

  • If we rallied hard enough, do you think we’d be able to somehow get the machines in the KAC to convert human muscle exertion (ie riding bikes, treadmilling) into electricity?

I wouldn’t exactly use the term “rally” to describe what people do at the KAC. Dry heaving, sure. Sweating, definitely. Running for two minutes and sitting in the sauna for 30 minutes? Absolutely.

  • I ride horses and am still deciding whether or not I’m going to bring my horse to Kenyon.

Tbh probably only do it if you get housing on the quad, it’ll be pretty inconvenient to fit that horse in a Mather or McBride room (they’re tiny!) And keep in mind that you’ll be known as the kid with the horse, so everyone’s gonna ask to borrow it when they want to go into town every weekend.

  • You’re looking at the head of gryffindoor house. It’s a “no” from me
  • I also work in a bakery. Mostly I mix and shape different kinds of bread while trying not to imagine how terribly someone would be mangled if they got their hand caught in the automatic bread mixer (sorry if that’s a bad image). Go back to talking about netflix and cats what the hell is this.
  • Ooh, if I go to Kenyon I will most likely major in English/Creative Writing too! You hear that? That’s the sound of almost the entire student population collectively rolling their eyes at this.
  • Who here is looking to get into the theatre (maybe even major in it as well) scene as well as the film and improv scene and Kenyon? Just you, you’re the only one sorry.
  • I plan on majoring in a “straight-to-grad-school” major. Oh, really? I was thinking more along the lines of “straight-to-the-Starbucks-counter” major, or maybe a “straight-to-deadbeat-part-time-job-that-doesn’t-pay-off-student-loans” major. Did you know Mark Zuckerburg dropped out of college?? DID YOU?????
  • I too am very interested in the effects of drugs and find very refreshing that you’re not afraid to say it on this page! Aaaaaaaand we beat the record time for identifying the designated class drug lord.

3 responses

  1. I kind of hate that we assume majoring in English is going to make you poor. It hurts the people that this is their passion and want to be a writer. Hearing that you’re going to be poor the rest of your life hurts.

  2. Oh, believe me, that comes for a lot of other majors, too – I’m a Religious Studies major, and as soon as people find out I don’t want to be a preacher, they ask me where I’m going to park my cardboard box. No worries, though – liberal arts teaches you to be good at thinking critically and solving problems. You’ll be okay.

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