We’re about to head out for a semester length period of time, and if you’re thinking what I’m thinking, can I put my weed in storage? I’ve been informed by those I’m sharing a storage unit with, no, I cannot. “Everything will smell like weed and that’s annoying blah blah blah something about having moral values.” I can’t fly it home, and I can’t ask my parent to drive it across state lines, and I’m unclear if I can single-handedly take on an eighth before the week is out. So, okay, cool, but what the hell do I do with my weed now?
- Smoke it all. Right now. Screw finals, chill out, relax, get your high on. Get a group together, an eighth is definitely under 80 bowls and, trust me, this is achievable in one day. It might keep you from graduating in four years– but one problem at a time, okay?
- Cozy up to your high school drug dealer. You either went to a school where they’re still hanging around in the gas station parking lot smoking cigarettes and you can just go buy shitty mary jane from them, or their parents paid way too much money for high school and have thus shipped them off to whatever school they could get into in the area. Either way, they’re there.
- Cozy up to your high school’s current drug dealer. If you fall under the latter in #2, then some new kid had to come along to fill the place. Find them. Befriend them. Get that good kush. (This is ill-advised and you will feel really weird about it).
- Ask your parents to smoke it all with you. If they’re coming out to pick you up, ask them if they’re down to hotbox, does anyone know how to roll? dad?? SICK!
- Sell it to someone who will take it home. This one is obvious, and you get your money.