There are a number of bath tubs scattered around campus in various dorm buildings. The main question is why? People with injuries tend to use them if standing in the shower is not an option, but really the main purpose of the baths is to strike fear and/or disgust into the hearts of the student body. “Who uses these?” you might howl to the night sky above, desperate for answers, tormented by the grout stains burnt into your optic nerves. Despite the general malaise surrounding Kenyon tubs, my intensive research has uncovered an extensive bath hierarchy. Below is a definitive rating of the campus tubs, from creepiest to most chill.
1. Bushnell Bath. Besides residing in a tiny room in a public hall, this bath is ground level and right next to the entrance. If that doesn’t strike fear into your heart, I don’t know what will.
2. Mather Bath. Not as close to the entrance. But it’s in Mather, so it sucks anyway.
3. Caples Bath. Tucked away in the 5th floor gender neutral bathroom lies a friendly lil water receptacle, just waiting for you to splash away in. Still kinda weird though.
4. KAC Hot Tub. This is an excellent choice if you enjoy broiling to a lovely shade of mauve and watching others swim. Downside? It isn’t open 24/7. A limited luxury, if you will.
5. The Kokosing. Take a river bath! Let the icy waters wash away your stress. Feel the pebbles kiss your weary feet tenderly as you float downstream, wondering if anything really matters. Stitch some hash brown triangles together to make a flotation device and see where the tide takes you (probably somewhere Ohio-based).