Talking Back to Yaks

Talking Back to Yaks

Remember Yik Yak? Didn’t think so. But we do. Oh boy do we remember the era of the Yak. While its time at Kenyon has definitely slowed down from an olympic sprint to a comfortable trot, that doesn’t mean there aren’t perfectly reasonable questions out in its sphere of existence. We’re stepping in and helping those lost souls.

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You should probably get to know the girl on a friend-level before you decide to ask her out. Track her amazon purchases to see what kind of shampoo she’s buying. Sit three tables over from her to make sure you know what she gets in her salad. Once you’ve memorized her sleep/breathing patterns–start conversations about common interest! It’ll be love at 76th sight.

12033572_10205236517294250_2015064560_nJust buy her some deodorant! But also as you hand her the anti-perspirant, say “you are so beautiful and valued.” Maybe if you don’t want to just hand her a random stick of Secret or Old Spice, make a whole gift-basket of hygiene treats! Shampoo, conditioner, toothpaste (and toothbrush). The world is your oyster. Or you know, you could just deal with it.

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Acapella rehearsal definitely just got out when someone posted this one. My suggestion is to stop the song the second after she starts singing, look at the sky and say, “we need to do better.” Keep with positive reinforcement! Maybe play some videos of good singers, look at her, and nod profusely. You could make alliances and have other people sing louder than her. 
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Ok I got this one on lock. You just need to get a conversation starter going. This could be anything. Sit next to him in peirce while he’s eating spaghetti and pick up the strand he’s eating from the other side, Lady and the Tramp style. Sit down next to him in the library and loudly play Cotton-Eyed Joe. Let’s get this chemistry flowing! Follow him into the shower, guys love spontaneity and risk-taking.

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