Autumn is now officially upon us, and with the changing of the seasons comes the inevitable change in our bodies as well. No, I’m not talking about Seasonally Onset Repeated Puberty (haha! (but actually if anyone else suffers from SORP please come to our weekly check-in group support meetings in the Gund Game Room, Mondays 6-7 AM). I’m talking more about the subtle changes: the gradual fading of summer tans and highlights; the need to apply an extra layer of Cera-Ve every morning to combat the dry slap of the quickly chilling air; the disheartening sense of claustrophobia as more clothes need to be worn. But have no fear: instead of lamenting these adjustments, there is a special event going on this weekend that looks to celebrate them. If you wanna go to a place where they believe that there’s no better moisturizer than a healthy mixture of glitter and someone else’s sweat, that pasty flesh is tasty flesh, and that the happiest nipple is a free nipple, then come on down to the Deb Ball tomorrow night, hosted by the Peeps, starting at 10:00 in the DKE Lounge!! (disclaimer: you can wear as little or as much clothes to Deb Ball as you want/if u are like me and don’t wanna show people your wind-chapped nipples, that’s totally ok).
Here’s a list of some tunes that are sure to get you in a debutanty mood – whether you’re pregaming, dressing up, or pregaming THEN dressing up, put them jams on and then get your glam on! See you tomorrow night!!!
The ultimate getting ready song, no matter the type of dress, the event, or the type of freakum-ing that the night holds in store. The opening lines to this song are ones that my friends/roommates know very well because, by troth, it is I who have spake them many a time: Hold up, bring the beat back. Stop, I ain’t ready yet. Wait, let me fix my hair. YES, YES, YES MA’AM.
To honor the drag tradition of Deb Ball, here’s a rousing call to the dance floor from the Queen Muthah herself comes. Fact: before I heard this song, I had no idea what a slingback sounded like!!
For those of you who misread the flyer and thought that it said Dad Ball. Sorry, jokes on you – but if your pops can hang, why not bring him on down anyway!
Ok: I don’t know about you guys, but this was definitely actually my song of the summer. And considering that Deb Ball is all about experimentation, self-expression, and trying out new stuff, why not get into the spirit of the song and roleplay as a Ciroc-swilling fuccboi for the night? Could be fun!
This song has never and will never need any context or justification for being played.
Missing from this version of the song: about 6 seconds in,the unmistakable shriek of “OHHHHHHH SHHHIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT” that will inevitably be aroused by the first few rounds of “BOOM BOOM clap, clap, clap-cla-cla-clap” at the beginning.
In case you want to slow things down a little, aka in case you want to see people actually engage in acts of coitus on the dance floor. Also: If anyone needs an example of A+ flirting, scroll to the middle of this song and watch the brief exchange between Ciara and her prospective beau, played by Future. From now on, I’m just gonna introduce myself to boys I think are cute by saying “… I’m Ci.”
This one’s more for the after party than the party-party. Also serves as a helpful reminder to a) not take yourself too seriously, and b) what the correct terminology really is for a smash-bang fusion. So have fun, be careful, and watch out for cootch contusions!