10 o’clock list: Inappropriate Times to Play “Wagon Wheel”

Our favorite song! (via Hansen Wheel and Wagon Shop)

Ah, “Wagon Wheel,” how first-years love thee. You never fail to disappoint as you close down the Bullseye, what with jolly debauchery winding down for yet another night of what can only be described as “amazing, awesome, and yeah mom the parties at college are pretty fun.” But if we leave “Wagon Wheel” for parties only, we miss out on some awesome opportunities for making new memories. Here are some suggestions for new times to play this awesome diddy.

  1. Finishing your last midterm. Okay, yeah, we get it – midterms suck and finally being able to call yourself “done” with them is a fantastic feeling. But maybe you should save the celebration for when you’ve left the classroom, because hi-jacking your professor’s computer to blast “Wagon Wheel” isn’t exactly the pinnacle of tact.

2. Leaving your professor’s office hours. Sure, it’s your professor’s job help you understand your course material, but that doesn’t mean office hours are any less nervewracking. Why not celebrate by blasting your favorite tunes throughout the entire academic building? Everyone deserves to know your accomplishments!

3. Finally getting your omelet from the omelet line. Sweet baby egg yolk, you made it! After what could only have been hours in the omelet line, you’re finally about to fill your belly with amazing, hot-off-dat-hot-plate goodness. It takes a true champion to stand the test of the omelet line – so go ahead and make “Wagon Wheel” your walkout song.

4. Leaving the library after the Nerd Bell. By blasting “Wagon Wheel” as the Nerd Bell rings, everyone will know that you know how to have a good time. Nothing says “rager” like walking home in the bitter cold of the early morning playing weird country music.

5. Leaving your hookup’s room in the morning. I mean, yeah.

One response

  1. Never a bad time for “Wagon Wheel”. Ketch Secor’s sisters both are proud Kenyon grads, as are his uncles and grandfather.

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