Moms. They love us and take care of us. But one thing they can’t do is send normal texts that can’t be made fun of in some way. That’s right. It’s time for this year’s first installment of Mom Texts! It’s our recurring feature where we examine the texts of my own mother and some of her fellow moms.
- “I had a dream that you turned into candy corn. Tell me you are human… please.” – This one comes from the mother of Joey Chimes ’19, one of our new writers. This would indeed be a scary dream for a mom to have about her kid, so I sympathize with her. I would not want my kids to become candy corn!
- “Daddy is popular 👍” – Coming from my own mother, she was expressing her surprise that someone knew my dad and not her.
- “Some one sent me a message on Timeline. What’s the purpose of that?” – You may remember Brea Fearon’s (’18) Grandma Lynnie from our last installment. This time, she’s trying to figure out how to use Facebook, which may or may not turn out well.
- “Sanders is picking his face. Now it’s all red. 70 year old zit problems.” – There were so many gems from the Democratic Debate…
- “This Lesbian Haunted House Is The Best Way To Celebrate Halloween [w/ this link]” – I like to end on a positive note, so here’s one from Sam Roschewsk’s (’18) mom. Sam says ever since she came out, her mom will send her random Huffington Post article about LGBT stuff. To quote Sam, “I love my Mom!”
Note. No Moms were hurt in the creation of this article.