Weekend Drink: Witches Brew


We’re in full blown spook-season, with Halloween fast approaching. What better place to celebrate the beloved holiday of tricks and treats but the very Hill we live upon. Chances are you aren’t going to get too many trick-or-treaters at your door*, so you might as well skip to the get-drunk-on-your-couch-and-eat-whole-bag-of-candy-corn part of the holiday. Whether you’re dressing up or down, this weekend requires the perfect potion. We’ve got you covered with a seasonal Witches Brew. Full instructions below!

Witches Brew

  • One bottle of red wine
  • Add sliced apples, oranges, and lime
  • Pour in club soda, 1-2 cups
  • Human fingernails, diced
  • Eyeballs, freshly picked (may need to use a mellon-baller for this one)
  • Pomegranate or Cranberry juice
  • Vodka
  • Three strands of unicorn hair (just $1.60 at the market! it’s where the sourdough rolls were)
  • A couple incantations from the good ol’ spell book mom sent you last week, how cute is she?
  • garnish with a gummy worm, or seven

Pour it in a cauldron, hollowed out human skull, pumpkin or whatever you have lying around. Happy ‘Ween!

*unless you’re counting the ~overnight companion~ who left their sock in your room the other night and knocked on your door on Halloween night for retrieval, because he like, really needs that sock for his costume.

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