10 o’clock List: Halloween Costumes That Were Not “OK”

Halloween has come and gone, and I’m going to be honest, I’m disappointed in the Kenyon community. The vast majority of Halloween costumes worn by Kenyon students were not “OK.” I’m not trying to say that they were politically incorrect, rather, they were not at all relevant to the state of Oklahoma. We live in the greatest country in the world made up of 50 states, all of which I love. I happen to be from the northeast from a little state called Massafuckinchusetts. I certainly am “Boston Strong,” but I’m not going to pretend that it’s my favorite place on earth. I’m an Okie at heart and I believe that everyone should show their love for our nation’s 46th state, especially on Halloween.

1. A ghost: A classic Halloween costume. A Halloween staple. Like many hard-working Americans, I believe in the existence of paranormal entities, and it’s a pleasure to see them portrayed in this pagan holiday. But is it OK? No, not in the slightest.       

2. Steve Jobs: Great costume. Very topical. But did Steve Jobs have any special connection to Oklahoma? Well that’s a tough question and I don’t really know the answer.  However, I just read over his fairly extensive Wikipedia page and nothing seems to indicate that this costume is OK.

3. A pumpkin: Honestly, fuck pumpkins. They’re just big members of Cucurbitaceae family that think they’re hot shit. You know what else, it is barely OK.  Sure pumpkins grow in Oklahoma, but it’s not a cash crop.4. The Patriarchy: What’s up with everybody dressing up as nonphysical ideas? You’re supposed to dress up as a person or an object not a theory.  Also, totally not OK! GOD!

5. Cowboy Curly McLain or Farm Girl Laurey Williams: As the leads of Oklahoma! both costumes were A-OK with me. I only wish I could’ve seen more costumes like them. There’s always next year Kenyon.

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