The Friday Ketchup


It’s November, which means one thing. You know what that thing is? That’s right. Every year during November it happens. Will it be as good this year? No one can say for sure, but I sure hope so, because I sure do love it. I hope you’re excited about it, too.

It’s the Friday Ketchup.

Voters in Ohio shot down a proposal that would have legalized marijuana. Besides the obvious controversy of drug legalization, the proposal, also known as Issue 3, had come under fire because it only allowed a select few groups to sell marijuana at 10 locations throughout the state, monopolizing the industry in Ohio.

Well I for one am glad this issue didn’t pass. I mean, who likes monopoly? I always hated that game when I played it as a kid. $200 dollars just for passing “Go”? That sure sounds like socialism to me. Socialist marijuana has no place in Ohio.

In domestic terrorism news, a man in Tupelo, Mississippi detonated an explosive device in a Walmart on Sunday to protest the store’s decision to stop selling Confederate flags. Thankfully, no one was hurt in the small explosion.

What happened to the America where a man could walk into a store and buy the flag of a rebellious state that seceded 154 years ago over the right to own other people purely because of their skin color? Why can’t people buy an item at Walmart celebrating a culture created entirely though racialized chattel slavery? I mean, sure, some people might be offended at a symbol that represents a toxic worldview that cast an entire group of people as literally subhuman and should have been stamped out more than a century ago, but what if this guy doesn’t want to go somewhere besides Walmart to buy the flag?

Alright, guys, that was The Friday Ketchup. I wrote it and you read it and now its over. It is no longer happening. The post is finished. No more information is being conveyed. You will learn nothing more. There aren’t any more words.

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