Kenyon Krafts: Existential Cross-Stitch
At this point in the semester, you’ve probably spun into at least one existential crisis. You’re pondering what it means to be alive, and tweeting about your lack of purpose just isn’t scratching that “shout into the void” itch. Here at the Thrill, we’ve already shown you the hip and trendy craft that is cross-stitching. Now, it’s time to take it to the next level with some existentially wrought crafting!
First you’ll need
- Wooden hoop
- Cross-stitch fabric
- Paralyzing sense of doom that renders you incapable of even the most simple tasks. (for the perfect existential cross stitch, this is a must)
Step 1: Ask the real questions. Take a few hours to question every single choice that has led you to this moment. (NOTE: this may take up to 6 hours. Don’t resist the process!) Eventually, something will strike you as especially poignant. Congrats. You’ve found the right phrase to stitch!
Step 2: Start stitching your existential phrase.
Step 3: Make it pretty!
Step 4: Show it off. If you want to get in touch with your inner Banksy, start leaving the craft out in public for people to observe and feel uncomfy.
*****BONUS**** If you find you’re so deep into a crisis that the concept of neat and organized little stitches seems too much to handle, feel free to forego all technique and just stitch whatever questions are clouding your brain.