Kenyon Zodiac: Thanksgiving Food
We get it, dear reader. Thanksgiving break is coming and it’s hard to focus on work/personal hygiene when you’re plagued with dreams of cornucopia. As we prepare to depart for a week of indulging, let’s get more connected to our favorite foodie holiday with the star signs as Thanksgiving foods!
Aries- Cranberry sauce. This adventurous little dish is adds enthusiastic color to the table. It’s enjoyed by the courageous and is pretty funny on the outside with that whole jiggly “are you a jam or a jello or a sauce?” texture.
Taurus- Dinner rolls. Ah, dinner rolls. The foundation of any Thanksgiving extravaganza, rolls are the reliable old friend you can always turn to when all the casseroles start getting too weird.
Gemini- Just straight up gravy. You poured too much!! You messed up!! The plate is covered in gravy what have you done Thanksgiving is ruined oh god too much gravyyyy.
Cancer- Sweet potato this, sweet potato that. You could literally be anything. Your versatility as a dish ranges from savory to sweet, meaning everyone can find something about you they like!
Leo- Turkey. Often the center of the table, turkey loves the spotlight. Good at bringing the whole meal and everyone together, turkey is a faithful part of Thanksgiving.
Virgo- Steamed vegetables. Don’t underestimate the power of the steamed veg! Although sometimes modest, veggies are reliable, practical, and easily the most intelligent dish at this meal.
Libra- Wine wine wine. Wine is that friend that keeps you calm and takes the edge off some of those morally ambiguous/outright offensive comments from your family.
Scorpio- Green bean casserole. That one mysterious dish in the corner that you’re afraid to hang out with because they look a little intimidating. Don’t be fooled, they’re delicious and you’ll be glad you were brave and reached out!
Sagittarius- Stuffing. The true MVP of Thanksgiving. Everyone needs stuffing on their plate. Go out and find yourself some stuffing, your life will only improve!
Capricorn- Mashed potatoes. An important staple in any feast, mashed potatoes are the reserved dish that wait patiently for you to eat them in the corner of your plate.
Aquarius- Pumpkin pie. The grand finale of the Thanksgiving dishes, everyone is happy to see pumpkin pie. There’s something cozy about the dish that makes it a perfect friend to snuggle up with at the end of the day.
Pisces- Every leftover in one sandwich the day after. The leftover sandwich is the imaginative best friend that accompanies any Thanksgiving celebration. You always look forward to spending time with this sammy and the creativity of this dish never disappoints.