The Friday Ketchup


It’s the last week of school! That’s right, there’s no more school after today! No more pencils! No more books! No more teachers’ dirty looks! School is coming to an end. What’s that, we only get a week off? Seriously? But I was told there was no more class. Thanksgiving? More like Thanks-but-no-thanks-giving. It’s the Friday Ketchup.

Isis Books & Gifts, a Denver-area bookstore, has been the victim of several incidents of vandalism over the past few months. Vandals are presumably targeting the store, which has been around since 1980, due to the name it shares with ISIS, the Middle Eastern extremist group.

I’m honestly surprised the kind of people who would do something like this are smart enough to read the sign of the store. So, props to the U.S. educational system for once, I guess.

The American Medical Association called for an end to direct-to-consumer advertisements for prescription drugs. The AMA cited increased money spent by drug companies on advertising, which may be partly to blame for the ever-increasing price of prescription medication.

If these ads get banned, how am I supposed to know what kind of drugs to get? I mean, sure, I could trust the judgement of my personal physician, but what does she know? I need brand-name medicine all the time. If it wasn’t better than generic-brand stuff, then they wouldn’t even advertise it. Besides, commercials are the only way I know to blame my anal leakage on the side effects of Lipitor. I didn’t even know I was taking Lipitor, but that’s the only explanation for what’s going on.

Okay, kids. That was the Friday Ketchup. Now go on, get. Get out of here! Pop said we don’t want you no more! I said go!

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