Flu Season PSA: Get Your Freaky Little Hands Off the Apples
Hey, you’re back from break. You brought back all sorts of num-nums from home and a new haircut, but did you know that you also brought back millions of germs? Betcha’ didn’t. But you did. In fact, you’re carrying every disease that ever entered the Atlanta airport plus Grandma’s dry cough.
Ergo, Kenyon is now equivalent to a ball pit that millions of kindergarteners jumped into after sticking their hands into their pants. And you’re buried in it. Like suffocating, and your only way out is to move the balls out of the way with your tongue. So here’s a word of advice, don’t eat the Peirce apples. Better yet, don’t touch them. Because everyone has. Probably post-coitus with their little freaky sex hands. Ever think about that? Now you have.
Well, I’m off to vacation at a leper colony now. See you in January.