It’s coming boys. The big one is coming, and you probably haven’t prepared enough for that paper, test, or presentation. You probably tried to time-block yourself from now until your first breath of freedom. You also probably took one look at your plan this morning and wanted to gauge your own eyeballs out, one scoop at a time. Heck, you don’t have time to eat hour long meals, wasting away in Peirce. You don’t have time to read that whole book you were supposed to know inside-out by Monday. Do not panic. Breathe, shhhhh shhhh it’s okay. I’m here to help you a little bit (just a little bit though because I also, do not have any time). A big way to cut down time is to throw out any sort of acceptable approach to hygiene. Today, we bring you the facts. We bring to you: alternative ways to shower.

A bucket Simple, practical, and fun. Fill’er up with some soapy water, lather, rinse, get back to work. Make sure to do this outside, cycling through once or twice. We don’t have time for a mess. You may get weird looks from passerby, but hey–people in California are doing it (topical because drought).

The water dispenser in Peirce Stick your head under that baby and enjoy a refreshing ten seconds before someone begs you to stop. You may be saying Yasmin. noooooo I can’t do this people will see me and I will be ~mortified. To which I respond with: location, location, location. You get a quick rinse and seconds later you’re at the coffee dispensers? Sign me up!

Your friend spits on you for a full minute. You really need to find a good friend for this one, because they probably don’t have a minute to spare either! Regardless, grab a tarp, a healthy friend, and maybe wireless speakers. Do you love that squeaky-clean feel? You definitely won’t get it from this!

Your own tears. Anticipating a good cry-session right after exam 1 and minutes before exam 2? Perfect. Find a quiet corner and go for it. Let it all out; if it makes you feel any better, you’re truly killing two birds with one stone.