The First-ever, but Now Annual, Bread-lympics

 

IMG_7783

Harry tasting every single bread at the same time! Useless!

Young adults LOVE food culture. They won’t shut up about their party snacks. They love pizza, cheetos, wasabi peas, seaweed, you NAME it. We’re here to bring you the guide to your next favorite ~snack. Sandwiches. You can call them anything, sandwiches, sandoozles, sammies, adam sandlers. The most important choice you have when creating your sammie is the breaaaaaaaaad. That’s right. We tasted all the breads in Peirce so you don’t have to. You’re welcome. We asked one of the worst wordsmiths of our time to taste and describe these breads. So none of this is helpful, but it’s still here. Below is a full guide composed of flavor notes, texture, and overall zing factor. Let’s roll (sourdough roll that is).

Whole Wheat

WHOLEWHEAT

Raw: pleasantly soft, spongy-like material of tempur-pedic, tastes like the sandwiches from elementary school that my mom used to make me love you mom!, also strong notes of sawdust, and pottery barn.

Toasted: “This is like the truth, the toasting takes out the bad flavors! It’s nice” Like a great italian pizza! None of this makes sense but Harry is trying hard.

Whole White

IMG_7772

Raw: very dry, stale, tastes like sand without the salt, like someone made a cake with no sugar. Tastes like general disappointment.

Toasted: He shrugs, that’s it.

Honey Wheat (maybe?)

IMG_7773 (1)

Raw: Tastes like an amish wedding (will this alienate our amish readers), the oates on the top of it….didn’t even finish this description because the bread was so boring.

Toasted: This one is very burnt (note from the editor: this is rude), any flavor it did have has now been killed by the toaster. Disappointed (another note from the editor: weird that you had such high stakes for Honey Wheat).

Speckled Bread

IMG_7775

Raw: melts in your mouth! But it still tastes like matzah-that-has-risen (our taste tester is jewish if you did not notice already)

Toasted: He grimaces. He does not like it. He is difficult to work with.

Rye

IMG_7776

Raw: Harry was not excited to eat this one. He says it’s a disgrace to an attempt at a jewish deli’s rye. It’s a very obvious “protestant’s best attempt to appeal to the Jewish people.” Yikes!

Toasted: He knows it immediately. He loves it. L’chaim!

IMG_7774

Harry, not loving it!

One comment

Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s