We all love literature, right? Actually, you aren’t allowed to attend here unless you read twelve books a week and reek of Joyce and Hemingway quotes like rampant halitosis. One of the highest forms of literature- and art in general for that matter- is puns. I make them, dads make them, even the Bard himself used bodily themed wordplay to connect with his bawdy groundlings. Yet in these modern times, puns are tragically falling more and more into disuse and disrepute. Thus, to revive this paragon of creativity, this dazzling expression of human wit and wisdom, I present the All-Time Greatest Puns: Kenyon College Edition.
- Peirce Puns. Those sausages I had at Peirce today were so gamey and pungent. They were simply the wurst I’ve ever tasted.
- Aca-Puns. I’m a member of the Chasers.-Oh wow, the aca-Tag, you’re it!
- Swim Puns. The swim team plans to improve records this year by pooling their resources.
- Ohio Puns. I haven’t seen a single horse-and-buggy in town all week. Something is amish.
- Kenya Puns. The cruelest of all. You go to Kenyon, right?? There are a ton of cheetahs there, right? Have you seen one yet?
-No, they’re incredibly difficult to spot.
BWAHAHAHAHA *Sobbing internally.