Grindr: A How-To



Ah, Grindr at Kenyon.  Sometimes I love it, sometimes it makes me want to throw my phone off of the Caples roof and then run it over with a Campus Safety golf cart. So, basically, it’s a mixed bag.

However, Grindr etiquette is complicated, and I’m sure a lot of you have questions. So, I will try to answer some of them, using my experience as a gay man who browses Grindr as a basis for my knowledge.  Am I an expert?  By no means.  Do I think I am?  Of course.

  • Do I message him or do I wait for him to message me? Do what you feel comfortable with.  Most of my Grindr encounters have happened because someone else has messaged me.  This is what I’m comfortable with and I’m happy to continue this.  That being said, if you’re feeling frustrated that no one’s messaged you, maybe take that step and put yourself out there.  What’s the worst that can happen?
  • What’s up with Yik Yak? I’m sure everyone’s seen that Grindr has been a recurring topic on our favorite app.  There seems to be two types of Grindr posters: those who are bemoaning the “Grindr life” and those who are, quite frankly, rudely putting these people down and calling them pathetic.  Neither is particularly helpful, so maybe we should all just calm down and take a break from Yik Yak.
  • Should I include a face pic in my profile? I personally think you should.  Nothing creeps me out than getting a message from someone who has a faceless picture.  If you’re messaging me, I’m assuming you want to hook up, so let me know what you look like.  Sure, you can send me a face pic when I ask for it, but the fact that I have to ask for one…?  On the other side, I don’t know how you expect someone to message you if they don’t know who you are or what you look like.
  • Do I acknowledge my Grindr hook up in real life?  Honestly, just treat this as you would any one-night stand and do what you feel comfortable.  I’m generally an awkward human being, so when I see either during the daylight, I continue walking starting intensely at my phone.  But, if you are the type of person who wants to be a normal human being and say hi to last night’s Grindr hook up, more power to you!  You’re an inspiration to us all.
  • Ok, we’re messaging each other and he’s coming over in ten minutes.  What should I expect to happen? Honestly, I’m not sure about this one.  When you’re making plans, do you explicitly say what you want to happen?  Do you progress like a normal hook up and just see what happens?  Some kind of combo?  I’m not sure, but again, do what you feel comfortable with.  If you feel better knowing where the night will take you beforehand, simply ask your new friend when you’re making plans.  Chances are they’re also kind of unsure and nervous too.

Well, I certainly hope that was helpful. And I only checked Grindr once while writing this! Go me!

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