Weekend Drink: Valentine’s Heart of Wine

The only way to survive Valentine’s Day

Whether you have a significant other, that one hookup you always text to “hang or something,” or are single and spending the holiday with friends or alone, you’re going to need an especially strong drink this weekend. For you of-age readers, instead of getting cavities from the ridiculous sweetness of “love” and annoying lovey-dovey nicknames, take of sip of the true heart of Valentine’s Day. Like love, it’ll be sweet at first but over time may just leave you bitter.


  • Half a bottle of Cheap Red Wine
  • Box of Franzia Rose (Props if you just start drinking this because your roommate exiled you once again)
  • Crane Lake Pinot Grigio
  • Barefoot Chardonnay
  • Read receipts


  • Mix all ingredients.
  • Put on your onesie.
  • Watch Bridget Jones’ Diary and lock you door. Valentine’s Day is no joke.


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