It’s time to step up your Peirce game, friend. Adding hot sauce to a meal is one way of saying to the world “I know what my taste buds desire, and I’m willing to walk over to that metal cart and get it.” If you don’t consider yourself a sauce connoisseur, fear not. I’m here to take care of you. That’s right, I put six different kinds of sauce on a full plate of scrambled eggs so you don’t have to*.
Sriracha. Ugh. We get it, Sriracha. You’re cool. Sweet, spicy, and very upsetting to spell, Sriracha is the obvious favorite of many. Yeah yeah it’s pretty good now go put it on your cupcakes or whatever you Sriracha people do.
Tabasco. Tabasco is the sauce at restaurants that kids put on their french fries to show their parents they are grown ups. This hot sauce lingers (burns?) in your mouth long after you’ve finished eating without a lot of enjoyable flavor. It’s the ideal sauce to douse on a substance to mask the flavor.
Soy Sauce. This sauce is neither hot nor should I have put it on my eggs.
Frank’s Red Hot Sauce. The holy grail. The perfect hot sauce. Frank’s Red Hot has enough spice to satisfy that inner sadistic desire to feel your insides burning but enough flavor to actually compliment a meal!
A1. A1 possesses enough smokey flavor to make whoever eats it feel like a burly man preparing to walk into the woods for some “me time.” If you’re in a weird mood, go for some A1. You might enjoy it!
Malt Vinegar. What?! Why?!
*Everything burns now.