“Oh $#@!”: Ways to Cope with the Housing Lottery

Will this be my future cute n fun life??? Oh God, my whole body is quivering like a plate of Jell-O during an earthquake someone help

Will this be my cute n fun life next fall??? Oh God, my whole body is quivering like a plate of Jell-O during an earthquake someone help

Have you checked your Kenyon email? Did you get your lottery number? Was it all you expected it to be and more? No? It’s awful? You’re crying? You’ve snuggled into the jersey sheets on your twin XL mattress and are refusing to emerge until after the lottery is over? Come on, little one, do not weep. Here’s a hand. Let’s get you out of that bed. Life isn’t as bad as it seems.

I want to give you a piece of insider wisdom, and I mean it sincerely. This isn’t just to assuage you or anything, I swear. Ready?

No one knows how the heck the housing lottery works.

Got it? Okay. Now that we’ve established one concrete ground rule, let’s go over a game plan:

  • Take a beat. Make a cup of tea, put on a fun 80s comedy and for the love of God, turn off your phone. That explosion of GroupMe notifications from your future housemates isn’t going to solve anything, at least not until the dust settles.
  • Have an intimate chat with your future roommate, face to face. Compare lottery numbers calmly and coolly. Go over your housing comforts and discomforts. Figure out a last resort. Candles, rose petals and soft piano jazz are optional.
  • Establish at least three alternatives to your current housing plan. Three is the BARE MINIMUM, mind you. My personal lottery mantra is “hope for the best and expect the worst,” so take that as you will.
  • Do your homework. Housing and Res Life sent out a super dope guide to all things housing lottery, and it’s definitely worth a read if you’re feeling yucky. It lays out exactly where you need to be, when you need to be there and why. Plug important dates into your phone calendar if you want to feel all efficient and important.
  • Surrender all control to the system in power. Honestly, after taking these few preparatory steps, all you can do is wait. You won’t know how to handle the lottery until your body is literally standing in Gund Ballroom, braced for the impact of a possibly unsavory fate. Godspeed, kiddo.

Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s