Hey, guys! This time for our popular feature, Seniors Reminisce, we decided to ask the class of 2016 about an event most current students aren’t familiar with: The Great Mind-Wipe of 2012. This event was actually a campus-wide tradition going back decades, but was discontinued after the ceremony during our First-Year orientation went so horrifically wrong! I reached out to my fellow seniors to get their opinions on what went down that fateful night:
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” – Dolly Dandruff
“Please stop emailing me. None of that happened. Just go away.” – Jommy Jones
“Every time I see the number 2012 I get an uncontrollable nosebleed. If you could please stop printing out posters that say, “WHAT HAPPENED 2012,” that would be great. I got two nosebleeds just writing this, so please take it seriously.” – Dan Dribble
“I know something happened that night, but when I try to remember, I just start screaming. I don’t know if I want to figure it out.” – Tiffany Tenterhooks
“This is just a stupid rumor. Look, I remember being spooked, but I talked to my CA, I talked to the administration, and they all said it didn’t happen, okay?? So just drop it!! It’s not real!! They wouldn’t lie!!!” – Ralphy Ruggins
“Whatever you do, don’t publish this piece. I’m begging you. Don’t let anyone know that you remember anything about that night. Go somewhere safe. Get out of here. – Valerie Von Vacuum
If you have any information on what happened on August 27th, 2012 in the Gund Commons Game Room, please email me at email@example.com, or sound off in the comments!