It’s a quiet Saturday night in the depths of winter, and you don’t have any plans for the night. You and a couple friends want to watch a movie, but the tradition of crowding around one laptop has grown tired. Gone are the days of the unspoken requirement for subtitles just to know the basic plot. Gone are the days of the opening of a single bag of chips throws everyone off. Gone are the days of “shhhhhh.” Today, we bring you step-by-step instructions to turn your room into a home theater.
Step one: get a projector. Get one from the library.
Step two: position your projector on a blank wall. Find a blank wall, preferably across from couches or a bed for optimal viewing experience. If there is no ~good wall, try pinning a white sheet against the wall–MAKE SURE you are not piercing those sweet cinderblock walls! Only approved places for thumbtacks!
Step three: external speakers. This is the unsung hero of the home theater experience. The aux cord is a sacred right.
Step four: turn the lights off. Close every single door, shut every blind, and every single light bulb must turn off. The darker, the better.
Step five: sit back and relax and enjoy the show. I just changed your life, and you’re wellllcoooooooome.