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10 o’clock list: Things to Tell your Friends You Did when You Didn’t Do Anything This Summer

August 24, 2016
Teenage boy eating sweets.

A picture of me, bored during the summer (via telegraph.co.uk)

It’s that time of year again – when you see your friends for the first time in months, asking them how their summer was before you could stop yourself from avoiding the topic. You know what comes next: how was your summer? We all know you didn’t really do anything important or impressive, so here are some things to tell your friends when they inevitably (albeit half-heartedly) ask how you spent the last three months.

  1. Come up with an elaborate story that happened to you and your “home” friends, closely following the plot of a beloved TV show. Deny any resemblance.
  2. Talk about all the times you hung out with your pets without ever telling others that they are not human. This will convince your friends that there are people at home who are real and willing to hang out with you.
  3. List an excruciatingly specific play-by-play of your summer beginning the moment you left campus. Spare no detail and list until your conversational partner resents you.
  4. Tell them that there are some things that are best explained through dance. Before they can question you, dazzle them with your raw kinetic talent. They’ll be so impressed they’ll assume you danced your way through the summer.
  5. Be honest. Chances are they’ll say they did the exact same thing.
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