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The Monday Catchup

August 29, 2016
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Her catchup-y spires beckon you

Welcome back, kids. Geez you grow up so quickly. You look so well rested and tan and stress free. Oh how I yearn for those blithe times; I have since pupated from squishy, tender frosh to crusty sophomore. What do the youth even do these days? Do you listen to your pop star holograms on those iPods? *sigh* Here are some thoughts on the this weekend’s cheerful jaunts.

Leonard smelled like regret and shame. The stench of alcohol stung my soul.

 

On a scale from one to ten, it was a solid 5. Things are looking up in my book.

I hope this omelette has curing powers.

Yas friends. Well done. If you’re looking to procrastinate further do these things! All of them!

What: Some sort of face melting, banger of a party

  • Fun fact: The basement of Old Kenyon will stay hellishly warm all year. Check the thermostat. It says “hellishly warm”. Seriously.

When: This weekend

Where: Probably south campus or maybe north. Regardless, I’ll be in my room drinking sparkling water and thinking way too hard about life. #comethru

What: Men’s and Women’s Cross Country Tri Meet

  • As a seasoned vet of many a cross country race, believe me when I tell you that these meets are raw.

When: Thursday, September 1 at 6:00pm to 9:00pm

Where: KAC

What: Men’s Lacrosse vs no one…still :(

  • I’m counting down the days until I can see premium gouda in action. I want that that lettuce in full force, men. Let me be totally frank; I have never been to a Men’s lacrosse game. If anyone wants to arrange some sort of excursion with me to a game, I will provide dank tunes and sparkling water. What could be better than guys “carrying their pizzas” and “ankle breaking”?

When: Not soon enough

Where: KAC

 

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    August 29, 2016 1:49 pm

    didn’t this used to be about the actual news? bring back s. ryan kaye :(

    • Rastlr permalink
      August 30, 2016 10:52 am

      HAhaHaAha but he’s gone forever!!! HAhaHaAha
      But srsly guys pls bring back the news, this is the only way I get my news

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