We Tried Every Single Flavor of Italian Soda at Wiggin So You Didn’t Have To

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Knock, knock–who’s there? It’s me, I’m at Wiggin Street Coffee Shop ready for the day. What’s that? They’re coffee machine is broken? Ok I will just have an iced tea. What’s that? That’s also broken? How can you break tea? Never mind. Now I don’t know what to get! Oh wait–I know! I’ll just get an italian soda. So refreshing and fun.

But I don’t know what flavor to order. I’m overwhelmed and need help. I guess I will just have to try every single flavor with the entire Thrill editing staff. 

Let’s begin. The following is a stream of consciousness through the taste-testing process.

INITIAL THOUGHTS

  • Why is there cream???? 
  • excited
  • lactose intolerance is concerning
  • im apprehensive

HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING?

  • feeling gassy (a leel)
  • overwhelmed
  • kenda *eating carrots and hummus

FLAVOR ONE: WERTHERS

  • Carolyn: no, salty
  • Kenda: oh it’s wrong
  • Gracie: I don’t hate it (I’m a weirdo!!) tastes like bubbly candy
  • butter beer
  • liquidy butter beer
  • thin beer

FLAVOR TWO: CARAMEL CRÉME

  • Carolyn:tastes similar to the weathers
  • Kenda: kinda likes it
  • already on the up and up
  • Gracie: I get it
  • Yasmin: this is bad. this tastes like a sweetened sparkling water (it is)
  • Erica: (stunned by silence)
  • ADDED CREAM OH GOD
  • wait actually its not that bad kinda like a
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action shot

FLAVOR THREE: CHERRY LIME:

  • a classic italian soda as god intended
  • this is factually what they drink in venice
  • a mocktail!
  • shirly temple
  • NoT aS GoOd
  • brought back memories
  • Yasmin: I’m in
  • im also in (Erica)

FLAVOR FOUR: HONEY BEE

  • MILK’s BAD oh no what’s wrong
  • Kenda:  expected bad bad bad, got bad
  • Gracie: if you give this to a baby they will die
  • would poison babies (definitely could)
  • I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
  • put honey bee back

FLAVOR FIVE: MIXED BERRY

  • Kenda: IS IDEALOGICALLY OPPOSED TO BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • far too many punches that people have made
  • JUNGLE JUIce if you wanna get fucked uopppp p
  • kool aid man had a beer and then peed
  • Yasmin: movies where a robot is working and then gets melted by the liquid
  • my mouth is poisoned

FLAVOR SIX: ORANGE DREAMCICLE

  • gotta add that sweet sweet mother’s milk (jk my mom isn’t here it’s the wigeon milk)
  • she’s pretty now
  • indecicsive, a great treat from a 7 year old who just had a long day
  • kenda and I (Erica) are wearing the same shirt
  • tastes like an orange
  • Mia: it’s not horrible
  • why would you order this?
  • scurvy?

FLAVOR SEVEN: BANANAS FOSTER

  • the big mama
  • Yasmin: tasted like banana laffy taffy used to eat those a lot in fourth great i had friends i swear

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    close up of the action

FLAVOR EIGHT: KEY LIM

  • Mia: I feel like Key Lime is gonna rock my pants
  • Kenda: is back at it with the hiatus from the fruit drinks
  • LA CROIX BITCH. 10/10
  • doesn’t taste the pie
  • tastes the key
  • tastes a hint of lime
  • it’s a gross margarita mixer
  • Mia: neeeds to take out her invisilign!!!!!!

CONLCUSION: The creamy bois suck but the fruity ones were so good we took them home.

Goodbye!

One response

  1. Pingback: Did You Actually Shock Your Mom This Weekend? | The Thrill

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