We Tried Every Single Flavor of Italian Soda at Wiggin So You Didn’t Have To
Knock, knock–who’s there? It’s me, I’m at Wiggin Street Coffee Shop ready for the day. What’s that? They’re coffee machine is broken? Ok I will just have an iced tea. What’s that? That’s also broken? How can you break tea? Never mind. Now I don’t know what to get! Oh wait–I know! I’ll just get an italian soda. So refreshing and fun.
But I don’t know what flavor to order. I’m overwhelmed and need help. I guess I will just have to try every single flavor with the entire Thrill editing staff.
Let’s begin. The following is a stream of consciousness through the taste-testing process.
- Why is there cream????
- lactose intolerance is concerning
- im apprehensive
HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING?
- feeling gassy (a leel)
- kenda *eating carrots and hummus
FLAVOR ONE: WERTHERS
- Carolyn: no, salty
- Kenda: oh it’s wrong
- Gracie: I don’t hate it (I’m a weirdo!!) tastes like bubbly candy
- butter beer
- liquidy butter beer
- thin beer
FLAVOR TWO: CARAMEL CRÉME
- Carolyn:tastes similar to the weathers
- Kenda: kinda likes it
- already on the up and up
- Gracie: I get it
- Yasmin: this is bad. this tastes like a sweetened sparkling water (it is)
- Erica: (stunned by silence)
- ADDED CREAM OH GOD
- wait actually its not that bad kinda like a
FLAVOR THREE: CHERRY LIME:
- a classic italian soda as god intended
- this is factually what they drink in venice
- a mocktail!
- shirly temple
- NoT aS GoOd
- brought back memories
- Yasmin: I’m in
- im also in (Erica)
FLAVOR FOUR: HONEY BEE
- MILK’s BAD oh no what’s wrong
- Kenda: expected bad bad bad, got bad
- Gracie: if you give this to a baby they will die
- would poison babies (definitely could)
- I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
- put honey bee back
FLAVOR FIVE: MIXED BERRY
- Kenda: IS IDEALOGICALLY OPPOSED TO BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- far too many punches that people have made
- JUNGLE JUIce if you wanna get fucked uopppp p
- kool aid man had a beer and then peed
- Yasmin: movies where a robot is working and then gets melted by the liquid
- my mouth is poisoned
FLAVOR SIX: ORANGE DREAMCICLE
- gotta add that sweet sweet mother’s milk (jk my mom isn’t here it’s the wigeon milk)
- she’s pretty now
- indecicsive, a great treat from a 7 year old who just had a long day
- kenda and I (Erica) are wearing the same shirt
- tastes like an orange
- Mia: it’s not horrible
- why would you order this?
FLAVOR SEVEN: BANANAS FOSTER
- the big mama
- Yasmin: tasted like banana laffy taffy used to eat those a lot in fourth great i had friends i swear
FLAVOR EIGHT: KEY LIM
- Mia: I feel like Key Lime is gonna rock my pants
- Kenda: is back at it with the hiatus from the fruit drinks
- LA CROIX BITCH. 10/10
- doesn’t taste the pie
- tastes the key
- tastes a hint of lime
- it’s a gross margarita mixer
- Mia: neeeds to take out her invisilign!!!!!!
CONLCUSION: The creamy bois suck but the fruity ones were so good we took them home.