Knock, knock–who’s there? It’s me, I’m at Wiggin Street Coffee Shop ready for the day. What’s that? They’re coffee machine is broken? Ok I will just have an iced tea. What’s that? That’s also broken? How can you break tea? Never mind. Now I don’t know what to get! Oh wait–I know! I’ll just get an italian soda. So refreshing and fun.
But I don’t know what flavor to order. I’m overwhelmed and need help. I guess I will just have to try every single flavor with the entire Thrill editing staff.
Let’s begin. The following is a stream of consciousness through the taste-testing process.
- Why is there cream????
- lactose intolerance is concerning
- im apprehensive
HOW IS EVERYONE FEELING?
- feeling gassy (a leel)
- kenda *eating carrots and hummus
FLAVOR ONE: WERTHERS
- Carolyn: no, salty
- Kenda: oh it’s wrong
- Gracie: I don’t hate it (I’m a weirdo!!) tastes like bubbly candy
- butter beer
- liquidy butter beer
- thin beer
FLAVOR TWO: CARAMEL CRÉME
- Carolyn:tastes similar to the weathers
- Kenda: kinda likes it
- already on the up and up
- Gracie: I get it
- Yasmin: this is bad. this tastes like a sweetened sparkling water (it is)
- Erica: (stunned by silence)
- ADDED CREAM OH GOD
- wait actually its not that bad kinda like a
FLAVOR THREE: CHERRY LIME:
- a classic italian soda as god intended
- this is factually what they drink in venice
- a mocktail!
- shirly temple
- NoT aS GoOd
- brought back memories
- Yasmin: I’m in
- im also in (Erica)
FLAVOR FOUR: HONEY BEE
- MILK’s BAD oh no what’s wrong
- Kenda: expected bad bad bad, got bad
- Gracie: if you give this to a baby they will die
- would poison babies (definitely could)
- I hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this
- put honey bee back
FLAVOR FIVE: MIXED BERRY
- Kenda: IS IDEALOGICALLY OPPOSED TO BERRIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- far too many punches that people have made
- JUNGLE JUIce if you wanna get fucked uopppp p
- kool aid man had a beer and then peed
- Yasmin: movies where a robot is working and then gets melted by the liquid
- my mouth is poisoned
FLAVOR SIX: ORANGE DREAMCICLE
- gotta add that sweet sweet mother’s milk (jk my mom isn’t here it’s the wigeon milk)
- she’s pretty now
- indecicsive, a great treat from a 7 year old who just had a long day
- kenda and I (Erica) are wearing the same shirt
- tastes like an orange
- Mia: it’s not horrible
- why would you order this?
FLAVOR SEVEN: BANANAS FOSTER
- the big mama
- Yasmin: tasted like banana laffy taffy used to eat those a lot in fourth great i had friends i swear
FLAVOR EIGHT: KEY LIM
- Mia: I feel like Key Lime is gonna rock my pants
- Kenda: is back at it with the hiatus from the fruit drinks
- LA CROIX BITCH. 10/10
- doesn’t taste the pie
- tastes the key
- tastes a hint of lime
- it’s a gross margarita mixer
- Mia: neeeds to take out her invisilign!!!!!!
CONLCUSION: The creamy bois suck but the fruity ones were so good we took them home.
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