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The Monday Catchup

October 3, 2016
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Mediocre photoshop. Good gourd.

I’m disturbed, fellow students. I don’t know if any of you have been paying attention, but things have changed. I’m not talking about the Middle Path renovation or the 20/20 plan or the gaping, Cove-shaped hole in our hearts. No. I’m talking about the lack of one very famous gourd. The chill of fall has now descended upon us, and we welcome it with open arms. Sadly, this chill also reminds Gourdlings everywhere of their mother’s absence.

In short, where the hell is Gourdzilla?

She has been gone for too long. I spent too many hours this weekend mourning Gourdzilla’s absence. At least some of you remained positive during this tough time. Here’s what you had to say about this weekend sans gourd mom.

I saw Guy Fieri in a dream.

I was really happy, and a lot of people asked if I was black out. I was sober.

One of my contacts came out while I was washing my face, and I thought I was going blind.

Beautiful. Well, keep Gourdzilla in your prayers and thoughts this week. As we wait with baited breath for her return, let us occupy ourselves with other things.

What: Vice Presidential Debate Watching Party

  • Join Gund Gallery, The Political Science Department, and the Center for the Study of American Democracy for refreshments for the first vice presidential debate. Assistant Professor Kurt Pyle will give debate commentary.
  • There will be light refreshments!
  • I reiterate my sentiment from last week; being an informed citizen is a huge turn-on.

When: Tuesday, October 4 at 9:00pm to 11:00pm

Where: Gund Gallery

What:  Men’s and Women’s Soccer vs The College of Wooster

  • I’ve been thinking about it for a while and #footy sounds like another name for a foot fetish.
  • Fun fact: My ex boyfriend from high school plays soccer for Wooster. He told me that Wooster fully expects to be demolished by Kenyon.

When: Saturday, October 8 at 1:00pm to 4:00pm (Womens) AND 3:30pm to 6:30pm (Mens)

Where: Mavec Field

What: FALL BREAK

  • go home.

When: Thursday, October 6th through Sunday, October 9th

Where: Away from here. Take a break. You deserve it.

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