The Monday Catchup


I need four types of ketchup to satiate my palate: banana, pumpkin spice, spicy chili, and monday.


I look fondly upon fall break as if it was yesterday, because it was. Fall was working hard, and it deserved some “me time.” So, fall took a nice, well-deserved break and for four days we had weather sans season. It was quite the weather —let me tell you. Thursday was blustery. Friday was chilly. This weekend was all tornadoes and tsunamis! When fall is away, the weather will play, as the saying goes. Now I have the pleasure of welcoming you back to campus, suckers. If it’s any consolation, Thanksgiving break is only 39 days, 9 hours, 7 minutes, and 54 seconds away. Ok. Ok. I’ll stop rubbing salt in the wound. This whole “going to class” thing isn’t easy for me either. Here’s what you thought of break.

“I regret peeing in my own trash can”

“I’d say I had a net negative weekend”

“This break I bared it all—body and soul”

Ooof. We can’t win them all. Next time, Kenyon. Maybe these things will put you in a better mood.


What: “Marvin’s Room” by Scott McPherson

  • The show revolves around an estranged family, forced to reunite under the banner of bad news in Scott McPherson’s unlikely comedy about dying.
  • KCDC shows make my nipples hard.

When: Thursday, October 13 at 8 p.m., Friday, October 14 at 8:30 p.m., and Saturday, October 15 at 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.

Where: Bolton

What: Things for the ‘rents

  • Parents are everywhere. Avoid the deli, wiggin, the VI, the KI. Kids, get out now while you still know everything.
  • There will be a bunch of acapella concerts. Pick your poison.
  • There will be general merriment.

When: Friday October 14th and Saturday October 15th

Where: Your parents’ Subaru.


What: Second Presidential Debate 2016

  • Join the Gund Gallery and the Center for the Study of American Democracy for the second debate between the 2016 presidential candidates.
  • Did I say that being an informed citizen is a major turn on? It’s in my Tinder bio. Mia Fox: 19. taurus. lover. liver. giver. PGH -> OH. politically informed.
  • Just kidding. I don’t have Tinder, because I’m going off the grid.

When: This happened yesterday. I hope you went. 

Where: Gund Gallery

What: 9th Annual Sophomore Day

  • Figure out your life, Sophomores.
  • I’m starting the rumor that it’s Senior Soiree, but for Sophomores. Time to get #sloshed with the profs.

When: Tuesday, October 11 at 11:30am to 1:00pm

Where: Lower Peirce










One response

  1. Pingback: The Monday Catchup | The Thrill

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