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10 o’clock List: How to Entertain Your Parents This Weekend

October 12, 2016
stock-photo-teenage-girl-rolling-her-eyes-in-front-of-angry-parents-23358691

The author with her parents

It’s that time of year again, when campus is full of people who are not students but probably wish they still were. They dress nicer than you. They are kind of old. They wear trendy glasses (tortoise shell or clear) and use trays in Peirce. There is not enough parking for their Subarus and Audi station wagons. They are your parents, and they are coming. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do with your parents for a whole weekend, (how did they entertain you for your 20 something years?), but here are some ideas.

  1. Go to Walmart and make them buy you mini doughnuts, condoms, and Capri-Sun pacific coolers.
  2. Show them the stain on your comforter where you spilled blood and red wine while trying to use your roommate’s sword to open a bottle of Barefoot via information provided in this NPR article because now you go to a liberal arts school and read NPR.

  3. Hit the VI and bring your friends so they can assess the stability of the new support system you have transitioned to while enjoying tater tots and macaroni and cheese.

  4. Point out the desk in the library where you cried over that econ midterm, which will soon be destroyed, because, if you didn’t know, the 2020 plan is ruining lives!

  5. Take them to the upside down tree and leave them there. They will be lost. Come back for them later if you so please.

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