Wake up! The coast is clear. The families, the parents, the younger siblings-they’re gone. With them they took clunky Peirce trays and name tags and incessant comments like,”So, are you dating anyone, because I think everyone here is cute, Mia!” They took it all, stuffed it into the trunk of the family Subaru, and left you in the dust. Time to return to life as usual. You can haul out the beer you hid and feel better about that hickey on your neck.*

Here’s what you thought about this doozy of a weekend.

I lost my mom in Walmart.

My friends parents played pong with me.

I had to explain soft boy and sad boy to my parents. It seems like they appreciated it.

How tender! You’re probably feeling a family weekend hangover, now. Well, I can fix that. Delay work. Go do these things.

What:  The 2016 Presidential Election: A Conversation with Maureen Dowd, Moderated by New York Times Washington Correspondent Carl Hulse

• Maureen Dowd, winner of the 1999 Pulitzer Prize for distinguished commentary, became a columnist on The New York Times Op-Ed page in 1995. She has covered four presidential campaigns and served as White House correspondent. Carl Hulse currently serves as the chief Washington correspondent of The New York Times and has reported on events in the nation’s capital for 30 years.
• Someone told me there’s some sort of “election” happening “soon” and that “it dictates the future of our country.”
• Have I mentioned that being an informed citizen is a major turn on? I mean it’s in my Tinder bio. Mia Fox: 19. taurus. #blessed. PGH -> OH. politically informed. *peach emoji*
• Just kidding. I don’t have Tinder, because I’m going off the grid.

When: Tuesday, October 18 at 7:30pm to 9:00pm

Where: Rosse

What: Women’s Soccer vs Oberlin College

• Honest question for you, Ladies; what is the most ergonomic brand of shin guards?  I just dropped into this shin guard hole as of late, and I can’t escape.
• My knowledge of The Beautiful Game is lacking.

When: Tuesday, October 18 at 4:00pm to 7:00pm

Where: Mavec Field

What: Last day to withdraw passing (WP) with a late fee – Minimum 1.75 units

• Time to say to that class, “It’s not you. It’s me“
• Give it up, baby.

When: Friday, October 21

What: Zombie Roundup Day

• So the description for this event is as follows, “BIOL 211 class will identify all zombies on campus and arrange quarantine.”
• I’m really hoping this is the return of Weaver parties!! Bring your booze. Bring your friends. Get your dancing shoes on. Time to #weaveout!!!

When: Saturday, October 22 at 1:00pm to 3:00pm

Where: Weaver Cottage

 

*Personally, I will still call you out but in a fun, “let-me-read-your-hickey-like-a-rorschach-test” type of way.