It’s been a long Wednesday, my friend, and there’s been something that’s been aching on my mind all day. See, all day today I’ve been smelling this weird, faint, barely-there-but-definitely-there smell, the fragrance of which I can’t seem to put my finger on. It’s been driving me nuts! So I gotta ask, what’s that smell?
1. The manure in the distance. This is usually a smell reserved for the rebirth of the earth in spring, but with all this nice weather the sun has probably had the chance to beat down on a bunch of poop lately. Could be the stench radiating off the poop that inevitably surrounds us? It’s plausible.
2. The new-ish English building, Lentz House. But this building has been on campus for years! you cry. Listen up, buddy, the thing about the weird houses that Graham Gund places on campus is that they never lose that new house smell, even though they’re populated nearly 24/7. That’s the magic of money!
3. The printer overheating because you printed too many goddamn articles for class. You probably aren’t gonna read them, anyway, but if there’s one sure-fire way to intimidate all the other people in Olin it’s to lay out piles and piles of twenty page readings over your workspace. It’s like manspreading but for knowledge.
4. All the socks in Olin freed from their shoe prison. I know a lot of people call Olin their second home, but the fact that we’re all so willing to walk around sans rubber sole is a little concerning. It’s no secret that sock sweat has a peculiar, persistent odor to it. Why do we do this to ourselves?
5. It’s you, dumbass. You didn’t put deodorant on after your shower and now you have the stank to show for it.