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Weekend Drink: It Might Be A Weekday But It’s Election Night and Life Is Over

November 8, 2016

Well. Here we are. We knew we’d get here someday. It’s election day, and in a few short hours we will finally know who the next leader of the free world is. Since this is such a fun-loving carefree day for everyone, we at The Thrill thought we’d spice things up a bit with a festive Election Day themed drink! It’s super simple and easy to make, so you won’t be taken away from your play by play of the electoral college for even a second!

Ingredients

  1. the highest proof alcohol you can find. Doesn’t matter what kind. 120 proof and over is preferable but I’ve been informed there are “legal limits” or “lethal amounts” or something so that might be hard to find.
  2. Salty, salty tears from a human tear duct. If you can’t produce your own, store bought is fine.

Directions

  1. Wait for the first state to declare its results. Start drinking the high proof alcohol immediately after. Don’t bother using a cup. You’re not actually that classy. Drink straight from the bottle like the poor desperate soul you are.
  2. When you are halfway through the bottle you will begin to cry. These are the salty tears I told you about. Let the tears flow freely into your mouth, the saltiness will counteract that feeling of your mouth being on fire.
  3. Wait impatiently for them to declare the winner of the 2016 presidential election
  4. Finish the bottle
  5. Cry more (either out of relief, despair, or some combination of the two)
  6. Go to sleep
  7. Don’t even try to go to your Wednesday morning class. We both know you won’t make it.
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