The Friday Mustard


Hello, hello. Before you all pack up your rucksacks with mustard memorabilia and flock to the airports, let your old pal Friday say goodbye. It’s going to be a lonely week on campus without you all, that’s for sure. Long, cold nights full of turkey ghosts and old flames coming back to haunt me. Ol’ Mustard has too many demons rattling around his bones. Time to sleep for a while, I suppose. Time to rest. Here’s what’s happening this weekend, mustard-wise!

Mustard takes a nap. I am tired and Want to Rest my Mustard Eyes for but a moment, thank you much.

Mustard eats too many turkey haunches and gets a tummy ache. Why do people always try to rub my belly when I say my belly hurts? Please leave me be!!

Mustard goes on a long walk by the river. Mustard feels lonesome. It’s just–never mind. Thanksgiving used to be a time that I would spend with my family, you know? It was a day where no matter what happened, I knew that I would end up full of food and love. The food I can buy, but the love–well, I’m just feeling a little lonesome today, that’s all.

Mustard reads the news. Mustard sighs heavily. Politics, man. I don’t know why I even bother reading this crap anymore. It only makes me feel worse.


h a p p y t h a n k s g i v i n g

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