Hey, Where is my Parka?

screen-shot-2016-12-02-at-11-39-17-am

Hey I’m sooooo sorry to bother you because I know it’s busy and I know you’re waist-deep in a self-righteous deconstruction of the thing, but I need your help. Somehow, I have lost my winter coat. It is a beautiful, generic black North Face puffer. It was lost somewhere between last spring and now. As crazy as it sounds, I remember boarding my plane in May and thinking to myself did I ever pack away my winter coat? I shrugged, assumed that the whole situation was fine, and boarded my Southwest™ flight.

I know what you’re thinking. Why on earth are you asking people to look for your own belongings that you lost on your own because of your own inadequacy? Well, because I am the Editor-in-Chief of this thing and I can treat this like my own personal soapbox/student-info thread for only two more weeks. I will milk/abuse this until my last breath.

I literally do not know how I could have possibly lost a crucial and enormous object. I have torn apart my storage bins, my friend’s storage bins, my friends themselves, etc. I’ve thought deeply about the last time I wore it (early spring) and if it is humanly possible to forget it somewhere (it’s not). I am deeply aware that I’m an idiot for messing up this badly. With my head hung low, I offer my humble form as a symbol of my embarrassment. On hands and knees, I beg.

I love my parka, I miss my parka. She is probably lost somewhere, alone and scared. Please bring her home.

 

 

Share your thoughts on this post.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s