I sense an imminent hip fracture

Maybe it’s the cold. Maybe it’s the stress. Either way, you guys end up saying some fun stuff, and we here at The Thrill have pretty keen ears. What better way to spend procrastinating!

Student commenting on passerby runner: “She looks healthy.”

Adult male to friend walking over ice: “You gotta take a risk, the worst that could happen is you fall and break a hip.”

Student juggling responsibilities: “I could buy one pancake from the equestrian team but I’d have to unroll one of my dollars because I haven’t fixed it since I snorted Ritalin last weekend.”

Procrastinating Junior: “Buzzfeed said I wouldn’t be able to make it through this post without laughing and they were right.”

Two friends at midnight breakfast:

• First friend: “You look tired.”
• Second friend: “Joke’s on you. I got 8 hours baby.”

Alum who can’t help but make it Kenyon Relevant: “Recent events proving DFW’s central thesis in Infinite Jest: we are fully capable of entertaining ourselves to death.”

Heard any other weird things around this  depraved campus? Want to share ’em? Leave them in the comments below!